Life as List

I'm 30 now. My birthday was last week and I've now officially crossed over to the other side. (Is it wrong to say that I miss my twenties?)

As I mentioned before, I've been seeing this as the start of something new. The first day of the rest of my life. What do I want to do with the rest of this life? I've been thinking it over for the last couple months, and have come up with a list. It is not a comprehensive list, and it's pretty much limited to tangible accomplishments - no "be a good person", or "live life to the fullest." Maybe I'll add things someday, and maybe I'll decide to take some things off. We'll see. 

In no particular order then:

1. Do a round-the-world type trip. 4 month minimum.

2. Learn to knit.

3. Learn to sew.

4. Become fluent in German.

5. Visit every single country in Europe.

6. Volunteer somewhere, and become honest-to-goodness involved with the organization. Long term.

7. Re-learn to play the piano.

8. Learn about wine.

9. Make spirituality and the greater examination a central part of my life.

10. Become an excellent cook and baker.

11. Live abroad again - a few years. Preferably Germany, to make use of the German.

12. Get something published. An essay, an article. Doesn't need to be anything big.

13. Tell a story / read something I've written to an audience.

14. Go SCUBA diving.

15. Go on an extended hike - two weeks or more (periodic breaks in small towns allowed).

16. Become well read in philosophy.

17. Become well read in religion.

18. Spend time in an isolated cottage on a rugged seashore somewhere (Newfoundland? Maine? Ireland? Greece?)

19. Be an extra in a tv show or movie.

20. Become a runner. I've been dancing around it forever now.

21. Raise my children to be bilingual.

22. Win a small battle for the environment. Take my concerns beyond my own actions - try to make a small change for the rest of the world.

A Couple Notes on Candy Fast

I continue to be amazed at how easy this is. I sat next to a box of canolis for 7 hours one day and barely blinked an eye. In addition, some of my mom's baked goods passed under my nose to Oliver's hands a couple weeks ago, and it didn't phase me a bit. Ah, the control. The power. Bwahahahahahahaha!

I've noticed a couple strange things, though. First, I think my taste buds have developed a greater sensitivity to the presence of sugar in my diet. The bread I make my lunchtime sandwiches with for example, suddenly tastes really sweet. Bread. Really. On top of that, I had a yogurt parfait thing yesterday that tasted like someone had mixed an enormous brick of marzipan into the yogurt and oatmeal. The sweetness was overpowering. There's no way yogurt can taste that sweet. Is there? Maybe there's a chemical reaction going on here, taste buds overcompensating. Either that or I bought a marzipan parfait. Either way... interesting.

Even more fun, three times now I have dreamed that I accidentally broke the fast. It was an enormous, gooey chocolate chip cookie in one dream, a piece of birthday cake in another. Crazy. I mean, how can you accidentally eat something you're focused on avoiding? I was horrified in each dream. Upon waking, I was also a little embarrassed. My subconscious seems to be pretty worried about what I eat.

Candy Fast 2008

I've always had an insatiable sweet tooth. Seriously, in 2007 there was probably not a day that passed without some little sweet or another. Same goes for 2006. And 2005. And so on. What can I say? I like dessert. And/or the sweet afternoon snack. And the late night handful of cookies. I don't usually like all these things in the same day though. Don't get the wrong idea.

My sugar habit has never been a serious cause for concern. I mean, I don't smoke, I don't drink much, I rarely drink caffeine, I don't eat much salty or greasy stuff... can't I have my one little vice? Yes, yes I can. Pass me that Twix bar/ brownie/ red velvet cupcake/ strawberry rhubarb pie/ white chocolate-dipped macaroon/ Oreo/ peanut butter cookie/ piece of birthday cake (extra frosting please!).

Only what if I could kick the habit? In the back of my mind, I've always had this dream where I live on a diet of only the healthiest foods. No corn syrup, no aspartame, no grease, no cheeto dust... and no unnecessary sugar. It's all part of my quest to... honestly, what exactly is it that I'm I trying to do here? Live like the Amish? Like the Ingalls family? Like a wild animal free of vending machines and reality tv? I'll figure it out someday, but won't bore you with half-formed thoughts in the meantime. Getting to the point: Candy Fast 2008! I actually started this fast a month ago today, and have been surprised at how easy it has been. In the last month, I broke the fast only once. It was the 4th of July and we had one of those giant cookie cakes at our barbeque. Hey, you've got to live, right?

Anyhow, I've decided to start a little counter at the side of the screen. Not because it's necessarily something you're dying to know about, but because it sounds like fun to me. I'm not going to write a lot about Candy Fast either, because I suspect it doesn't make for engaging writing. What, you don't want to hear about the 7-layer bar I didn't eat today? I never knew you were so self centered.

The rules:

Out: candy, chocolate, cookies, cakes, pies, soda, etc. Basically anything that is obviously classified as junk food.

Not out: jam, honey, juice, and all those other things that are on the borderline. Also not out: salty things like potato chips and cheetos. I'll probably make more of an effort to avoid them (not that I eat them much to begin with) now that I'm on the healthy train, but they aren't part of the fast.

And a final note: I'm not going to completely avoid all sweets. When we're in Germany for example, I'll probably try a local dessert. I'm not trying to punish myself, after all. I just like streaks, and am interested to see how long I can keep this one going.

Onward then, to Candy Fast!

Ronald's Warm Embrace

This is a crude drawing of my mouth and the McDonald's quarter pounder with cheese that recently entered it.

Rewinding a little bit...

This is Fast Food Nation, a book I read back in the late fall of 2002. I had just graduated from college, and was rediscovering the idea of choosing my own books and reading them just because I felt like it. Fast Food Nation was fascinating, and it was also frightening/angering (yeah, I know). Eye-opening book plus 22-year-old idealist equals McDonald's boycott. No more little hamburgers with their tasty minced onions. No more shamrock shakes. Never would a McGriddle pass my lips (it was added to the menu after I started my boycott... dang). December 8, 2002. From that day forward.

Fast forwarding a little bit...

Earlier this week, we had a big event at work. It was a healthy lifestyles carnival of sorts for about a thousand kinds in the area. Part of the focus of this event was to get kids thinking about eating healthy, and we got all sorts of product donated for them to sample. Bananas, yogurt, carrots, juice, and so forth. We even got some pre-packaged apple slices, complete with caramel dipping sauce. We had a few extras of the apple slices, so a colleague tossed me a bag. I was really hungry... the apples looked good... I saw the picture of Ronald McDonald on the bag but didn't put two and two together...

...Until it was too late. At slice #6 I looked straight into the eyes of Ronald and a chill passed through me. I was a little horrified, and confused at the same time. Apple slices? Did these really count? Did I throw away my impressive 5-year record for apple slices?

The only thing to do then, was get in the car that evening and drive to a McDonald's - a really ghetto McDonald's, preferably - and do it right.

So I did it. Right. And hilariously, that night I felt a little lost. If I was no longer a person who didn't eat at McDonald's... who was I? I've decided to reclaim my identity then, with a new quest. No fast food (except for Subway and/or a Wendy's baked potato in emergency road trip situations) for one year. Oh yeah, and no McDonald's ever again. Just because it's fun.

Replugged... Sort of.

Not that this is some incredible feat or anything, but I did it. I managed to go a month without watching tv. Watched a couple movies of course, but I don't count those.

It was a really good experience, and I plan to sort of keep on with it. This should be pretty easy actually, since Oliver returned our cable box this morning. It's funny too, because he was my biggest obstacle this last month. He just recently got really into King of the Hill, a show I used to watch regularly and he sort of turned his nose up at. All of the sudden though, he wanted to watch it every night, and wanted me to watch it with him. His reasoning: I haven't seen you all day and want to sit close to you but also want to watch this show. Hank is funny and he sells propane.

He also started getting sentimental about "our last week watching the Simpsons and King of the Hill together before the cable's gone". He even tried to get me to break the fast a couple times, worried that I was missing out on my last, golden moments with "the little yellow people".

It was a little weird then, when he woke up this morning - this, the first morning where my possible activities included watching tv - and decided to go return the cable box a week before it was due. Even weirder that he decided to bike there in the rain. He keeps denying that there's any strange psychology behind it, but I swear it's some subconscious... something.

Unplugged

Since getting married, I've noticed something strange. I'm tired all the time. Not physically, but psychologically. I come home from work and feel like there aren't enough hours in the day, I'm half dead and all I want to do is sit on the couch and watch tv. The weird thing here is that I don't have all that much going on. Work is pretty much a 9 to 5 thing, and I wouldn't call my job stressful. I go out on the odd weeknight, but by and large I have my evenings to myself at home. Our weekends are full and we're definitely getting out, but there are still plenty of Saturday afternoons where I just read on the front porch and say things like "hey, do you wanna order Chinese?" to Oliver.

So why do I feel like I'm racing against the clock? Is it because I cook more now, and have to do a lot of the cleanup that goes with it? Is it twice the laundry piling up? Twice the mess scattered around the apartment? Not to say that I'm some house slave and Oliver kicks back every night with a six pack - we share the work. But still, in my mind I know there's twice the work lurking...

Or maybe it's the hidden strain of living every day in a place that still isn't ours completely. Want to go out to eat? Out to a bar? That still involves research - which neighborhood should we go to, what are the good restaurants in that area, etc. Want to do anything? Chances are we've got to pull out a map and get up the energy to "explore". Dunno. Maybe.

Anyhow, one of the side effects of this strange exhaustion is that I don't get a lot done at night. I should be writing more letters! Reading more! Writing in my journal! Doing something else of value... not flipping back and forth between an "Office" rerun and "King of the Hill" (I really like both shows by the way, which will make all this that much harder). My new solution: I'm going to give up tv for a month!

This may not sound like much, but I think it will be a little shock to me. I need to take back control of my time, and this seems like a good place to start. And I'm posting it here because I want to be ASHAMED if I break down and watch an episode of "Canadian Idol". Here I go then, for one month! August 25th! No tv!