Mauled by wolves (Von Woelfen zerfleischt )

I remember seeing a great skit on Saturday Night Live back in the '90s. It featured Dana Carvey as Tom Brokaw, and opened with him announcing that Gerald Ford had been mauled by wolves. Halfway into his announcement he called cut and complained to the film crew. "Listen," said the camera man. "You want to go on vacation? We need to cover all the bases first." Poor Tom Brokaw, right? Has to think of every possible story... Gerald Ford. Wolves. Good stuff.

I started German lessons a couple weeks ago. I'm not a complete beginner, but I am more or less a grammar Philistine. And German grammar is crazy! Even at the most basic level - articles - it's an uphill battle. Take the following sentence. I've written it in English and in German, and put all possible articles  in parentheses. First, English:

(The) dog is black.

Now German:

(Der, Die, Das, Den, Dem) Hund ist schwartz.

Oh no, you can't just say "the". Every noun in German has a different article, and the articles change based on which part of the sentence the word is in. A "Hund" might be der Hund or dem Hund, depending on the situation. Don't even try die, das or den. Those are just wrong. All this trouble just to say "the". And think of how many times you say "the" in a given day. Insanity.

I have decided then, that there is only one way for me to learn German. I need to think up every sentence I could ever possibly say, make a giant list, and read the list over and over until  I have memorized it. I've started it below:

1. I would like to buy a loaf of bread, please.

2. I love your outfit!

3. Who wants tacos?

4. I just bought a gun!

5. That was a crappy movie.

6. If Senator Jolie-Pitt wants to run for president, she has my vote.

7. I think robots are stealing my medicine.

8. Do you like my hovercar? It's fueled by acorns.

9. Did you just eat a live cat?

10. The sky looks so blue today!

11. If we dig the hole deep enough, no one will smell the body.

Yeah, this'll work. This'll work just fine.

... Just because I love this picture

I don't have too much to say tonight. I came across this photo though, and had to post it. It's Oliver, in case you couldn't tell. He's a cute little baby of course, but my favorite part of the picture is the older gentleman sitting next to him. The man smiling down at him with that "look at my sweet little offspring" look on his face. It's Oliver's grandfather and dangit all if he doesn't remind me so much of Oliver. The eyes, the nose... (such a nose!) I look at this picture and imagine that I can see the man I will be married to in 30 years. At the same time I see him as he was more than 30 years ago. Past and future getting all mixed up. The chain of family and descendants moving forwards and backwards.

Good stuff.

Books! 2009 Edition

Behold, my third annual list of pleasure reading!

2009 was a good year book-wise, much better than I had anticipated. I think I have my long Rutgers commute to thank for that. Those long hours going from here to there were ideal for reading - and were in fact, just about the only time I ever felt I was "allowed" to read, that it was okay to do something other than homework or other library-type stuff.

No, that can't be right. The Northeastern line of NJ Transit wasn't the only place I read. Where else did I read then? There was the subway I guess, and my vacation, and the odd Saturday afternoon... maybe "sneaking it in" was my theme this year. Looking forward to changing that in 2010.

The list:

1. Freakonomics - Steven D. Levitt

2. King Leopold's Ghost - Adam Hochschild

3. The Day of the Jackal - Frederick Forsyth

4. Guns, Germs and Steel - Jared Diamond

5. Anne of the Island - L.M. Montgomery

6. Anne of Windy Poplars - L.M. Montgomery

7. Jane Eyre - Charlotte Bronte

8. Scratch Beginnings - Adam Shepard

9. The Mark of the Angel - Nancy Huston

10. Strong Poison - Dorothy Sayers

11. Kitchen Priviledges: A Memoir - Mary Higgins Clark

12. The Flaneur: A Stroll Through the Paradoxes of Paris - Edmund White

13. Aliens and Dissenters: Federal Suppression of Radicals: 1903-1933 - William Preston Jr.

14. Bel Canto - Anne Patchett

15. The Name of the Rose - Umberto Eco

16. Wicked Plants - Amt Stewart

17. The Sweetness at the Bottom of the Pie - Alan Bradley

18. The Professor and the Madman: a tale of murder, insanity and the making of the Oxford English Dictionary - Simon Winchester

19. Home Game - Michael Lewis

20. Sketches - Washington Irving

21. Murder in the Latin Quarter - Cara Black

22. Death in the Andes - Mario Vargas Llosa

23. A Rip in Heaven - Jeanine Cummins

24. Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix - J.K. Rowling

25. Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince - J.K. Rowling

26. Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows - J.K. Rowling

27. Red China Blues - Jan Wong

28. Wuthering Heights - Charlotte Bronte

29. The Life of Pi - Yann Martel

30. The Grass Harp and Other Stories - Truman Capote

31. The Bonfire of the Vanities - Tom Wolfe

32. Connected: the surprising power of our social networks and how they shape our lives - Nikolas Christakis

33. A Gate at the Stairs - Lorrie Moore

34. Vanity Fair - William Thackeray

35. Confessions of an Economic Hit Man - John Perkins

36. The Autobiography of Malcolm X - Malcolm X/Alex Haley

37. Here of All Places - Osbert Lancaster

38. I, Claudius - Robert Graves

39. Zorba the Greek - Nikos Kazantzakis

40. Running with Scissors - Augusten Burroughs

Raves:

Bel Canto - a novel about terrorists in a South American country making hostages of the guests at a party in the vice president's home. I went back to certain passages again and again just to re-read certain strings of words. I don't do that often.

The Grass Harp and Other Stories - a collection of short works by Truman Capote. The title story involves a boy and two eccentric old ladies running away to live in a tree house. Beautiful, and it made me want to run away and have a strange adventure.

I, Claudius - Do you have even the faintest interest in Roman history? I didn't. That changed of course, after I read this book. It's a novel, but based on the history of Rome near the end of the empire. Little bit of fiction, little bit of history. Engrossing.

Plans for 2010:

*Re-read books I currently own! There are so many I have loved and want to read again... 

*Read 75 books by December 31.

*Toss in some philosophy - get a couple classics under my belt this year.

Life as List

I'm 30 now. My birthday was last week and I've now officially crossed over to the other side. (Is it wrong to say that I miss my twenties?)

As I mentioned before, I've been seeing this as the start of something new. The first day of the rest of my life. What do I want to do with the rest of this life? I've been thinking it over for the last couple months, and have come up with a list. It is not a comprehensive list, and it's pretty much limited to tangible accomplishments - no "be a good person", or "live life to the fullest." Maybe I'll add things someday, and maybe I'll decide to take some things off. We'll see. 

In no particular order then:

1. Do a round-the-world type trip. 4 month minimum.

2. Learn to knit.

3. Learn to sew.

4. Become fluent in German.

5. Visit every single country in Europe.

6. Volunteer somewhere, and become honest-to-goodness involved with the organization. Long term.

7. Re-learn to play the piano.

8. Learn about wine.

9. Make spirituality and the greater examination a central part of my life.

10. Become an excellent cook and baker.

11. Live abroad again - a few years. Preferably Germany, to make use of the German.

12. Get something published. An essay, an article. Doesn't need to be anything big.

13. Tell a story / read something I've written to an audience.

14. Go SCUBA diving.

15. Go on an extended hike - two weeks or more (periodic breaks in small towns allowed).

16. Become well read in philosophy.

17. Become well read in religion.

18. Spend time in an isolated cottage on a rugged seashore somewhere (Newfoundland? Maine? Ireland? Greece?)

19. Be an extra in a tv show or movie.

20. Become a runner. I've been dancing around it forever now.

21. Raise my children to be bilingual.

22. Win a small battle for the environment. Take my concerns beyond my own actions - try to make a small change for the rest of the world.

Preparation

The big 3-0. It's in two weeks. I'm not particularly upset or worried about it, but it has been on my mind a lot lately. Much more than a birthday (and my golden birthday at that! ...Do people care about golden birthdays?), it feels like the start of something new. Maybe it's because I've just finished school and am looking down a looooong strech of road called "the rest of my career". Maybe it's because I've been thinking about the next big phases of life - the personal ones. Whatever the reason, I've got "30" on the brain and it's tied up with all these thoughts of the way I want to live my life and the things I want to do.

I'll write more about those things later... tonight I'm thinking more about the person I've been these last 29 years, 11 months and two weeks. Good mixed with bad, mistakes mixed with good choices, etc. Many of my actions have been guided by a few different ideas, and I recently realized that I've never written them down. So... yeah. I'm going to write them down.

1. No man is better than any other
I love this. I think I heard it first said by a Norwegian cross-country skier (Vegard Ulvang, you fox!), and it has stuck with me ever since. There are people on this earth who are smarter, more attractive, more charismatic, and nicer than me... but they're not any better. In turn, I'm no better than anyone else, no matter how sexy and brilliant I may be (3 snaps in a Z formation!). There's no reason for me to ever be arrogant then. There's also no reason to be insecure.

2. Life is either a daring adventure or nothing
Full disclosure: I hated this Helen Keller quote when I first read it. Nothing? How dare you say someone's life is nothing. I learned to read it without being defensive though, and now think it's a great way to live. When I see the adventure in the little details of my quotidian life, I'm much happier. And when I look at my overall life as an adventure, I tend to take more chances, try new things.

3. Listen to yourself
Or myself. I've always felt that there is a voice of clarity inside me, and if I can just ignore all the rest of the noise (what I think will impress people, what I think I'm supposed to want, what would be easier) I can figure out exactly what is the right thing to do. I'll make the right decisions and I'll make them for the right reasons. I just have to sit very still and listen.

I'm actually sitting very still right now. And I'm listening. The inner voice, it's telling me to have a snack and go to bed. But wait, there's more... It's also telling me to watch some internet TV. Oh voice. You've never led me astray.

The good news that makes me so sad.

    

For years, long before I met Oliver, I thought it would be kind of cool to do a green card interview. The marriage kind, like you see in the movies whenever two characters get married solely so one can get U.S. residency. A sour-faced government pencil pusher takes you into a little room and asks you details about your relationship. Where did you meet? What are the names of your husband's siblings, and what is the order of their birth? What color is your wife's toothbrush?

Real life is a little different than the movies, of course.  In real life the interview comes years after your wedding, not weeks. After your foreigner spouse has had the probationary green card for two years s/he applies for a permanent card... and the government decides what to do with you.

Do they trust you? Do they believe, based on the stacks of paperwork you have provided, that your marriage is real? If they're not sure... interview!

I had my fingers crossed. I really did. This would be our big chance to prove our love to the world! It would be like Jeopardy, only a special version of Jeopardy with all questions centering around us! How's that for an ego stroke? Someone wants to know all about us! No, not just someone. The U.S. government. Our nation has taken a keen interest in the most mundane details of our life. He drinks his coffee black! She loves NPR! He pays the bills! We have a Netflix account!

Alas, when Oliver brought in the mail today his approval letter was in it. All done. The paperwork was believable. No interview for us. This is a good thing. It will save us stress, hassle, and a day of vacation time. We can move forward, plan vacations out of the country, etc. I'm really glad... I'm just a little sad at the same time.

Hi there.

Less than two weeks left of school, and this is where I'm going to try and spend my time until then. 

It's hard though, when the instrument of my productivity is also the instrument of my distraction. Curse you internet!

See you later.