Then and Now

My first day(s) of school. I am now officially a class-taking, book-and-article-reading graduate student. It's a little hard to believe. A little fantastic. A little overwhelming.


Please note:

1. I had no van to lean against this time around, so the fence in front of our apartment had to fill in.

2. If I were firm in all the right places and threw a sassy little scarf around my neck, I could TOTALLY wear my little kindergarten outfit on the streets of Manhattan today.


Additionally, please note:

1. I am blogging out of chronology here. We just got back (late) last night from an incredible Labor Day weekend. I really want to write about it and post pictures, but am out of gas this evening. And I've got homework to boot. Homework!

One last piece about Germany - this one totally biased

So just a bit more about our trip. We spent the second week in the Bavarian Alps, first in Garmisch Partenkirchen, then in Berchtesgaden. Both areas were stunningly beautiful. Berchtesgaden especially, was one of those places I fell in love with instantly. Started scoping out spots for a future winter cottage rental. Gol, it would be fantastic to come back someday in the winter! Those mountains... they almost make you want to become a skier. A few photos of our travels:

Hiking up Zügspitze. All that backdrop - that's where we had come from.



Towering over Berchtesgaden



St Bartholomä curtseys at the foot of Mount Waltzmann



Königsee (King's Lake) with mountain backdrop. Could I have taken a single photo that didn't contain mountains? Um, no.


For a few more photos, complete with witty captions, click here.

I hope these pictures give you a sense of how ridiculously, sickeningly beautiful it was in Bavaria. The green was so vivid, the air so crisp, the mountains jagged in all the right places, the sky so full of stars. I was like some sort of desert wanderer, greedily scooping up handfuls of pretty and slurping wildly. It was mesmerizing.

I've got to wonder though, it that because I live where I do right now? We've been in the NYC area for about four months now, just long enough for some of the novelty to have worn off. The big and shiny and exciting are still there of course, but so are the piss-scented streets, crowds of slow walkers on the sidewalks, and concrete gray. Gray everywhere. The old question returns, then: am I a city person or am I a nature person? Is vacationing in quiet, wide-open blue and green spaces enough, or do I want to live in them? Could I make it in a small town? Who would I be, how would it change me? Would I have to buy a car? Would I be happier than I am now? I'm pretty happy now.

A Factual, Totally Unbiased Report on Germany

All right, so of course I didn't do the sort of writing I imagined I would while in Germany. It's nice to have goals though, right? Even if you don't reach them, you still... um... set them for yourself?

Germany was wonderful. Wonderful! Two weeks spent in appreciation of beauty on both a small and grand scale. Tearing my eyes away, occasionally, from Alpine vistas and historic cobblestone streets, I couldn't help but think, over and over again as different examples presented themselves to me, that I had found a new... home? Is that the word to use here? Too strong?

**All right, stop please! Stop right here for just a second. Before I continue, I want you to understand that I am NOT the girl who spends her vacation in Europe then comes home to say "I'm so much more European than American. Absolutely. I belong in Europe. Or as we like to say it in Deutschland -yes Deutschland, not Germany- Europa." I swear to you that I am not that girl. I am an American through and through, and love my homeland for all its beauty, possibilities, contradictions, flaws, etc. That being said...**

Oh, it was lovely! And so many of its details fit exactly with my own personal way of doing things; it was uncanny. There were silly little things like Apfelschorle, a drink made of half juice, half sparkling water (I do that all the time! I never drink juice straight - I always dilute it!), and Ballisto, which is like a Twix bar, but all cookie and no caramel (the cookie is my favorite part of the Twix bar!).

Beyond snacks, there was something about Germany that appealed to me on a much deeper level. The climate fit me perfectly, for one thing. Summers aren't so (painfully, horridly) hot, and a cool breeze made me reach for a sweater every night. I slept with a window open and reveled in the cold, clean air that slowly filled the room. For breakfast, Oliver and I went to an open air market for bread, meat and strawberries. Good food too - the strawberries were red all the way through, delicious, and a far cry from the sad little moldberries I sometimes bring home from Pathmark. You can go to an open air market in New York too, but it's so different. Farmers' markets have this edge to them: "we're environmental. This food is locally grown. you're supporting a small business. This is all great of course, but there was something about doing the same thing without the ideology and fanfare... it was nice. Apparently these markets are all over Germany. People bring their baskets, fill them up with reasonably-priced food, go home and eat/cook. End of story.

Additionally, there seemed to be very little ideology and fanfare in the biking and walking people did to get to the market. Or to work, or to the bar to meet with friends. I think this was my favorite part of Germany. Cars don't absolutely rule the road, and bikes are everywhere. I would saw off a limb (someone else's, not one of mine) to live in a city full of bike paths! Oliver and I tried biking in the heart of Manhattan once... let's just say it wasn't a success. In Germany, the bikers and walkers (and hikers in Bavaria) were everywhere. Exercise, something I've always had to struggle to fit into the day, came about so easily and naturally. I couldn't help but think, over and over as I saw fit Germans all around me, this is how it's supposed to be.

One final "this is how it should be": we visited Koenigsee, an unbelievably beautiful lake in Bavaria. It's a huge tourist draw, with towering mountains above and crystal clear water plunging up to 600 feet below. The tourist boats that skim the surface at all hours of the day: electric. They've been electric since 1909. Koenigsee's water is a sparkling emerald color or a deep blue, depending on your view. It's also drinking quality. I've got a little soft spot in my heart for the German people, I have to say. They looked at their lake, a lake that apparently symbolizes their nation, and they decided to keep it clean. And that's that.

A bit more to come...

Home Again

We're back! After two weeks split between the regular family and my new family (the Bavarian Alps), we're back in the real world and resigned to returning to work. I've been up since 3:30 (God bless you, jet lag), and decided to use some of the time to craft a few haikus about our trip. I'm looking forward to writing more later, but for now a few brief words:

Burly man, short shorts
Hiking boots, backpack, loud laugh
Welcome to Deutschland

Blah blah feet blah blah
Blah people blah blah bike blah
This I understand

Driving rain all day
Puddle beneath us, now lake
Good tent, we stay dry

Quick scan on the street
Jealous, give my hair more sun
Germans are so blonde

Silent and mammoth
Alpine peaks at every turn
So good to feel small

Each day a small feast
German food, how I love you
But not you, weisswurst

Before I Go

We're off to Germany tomorrow, which is really exciting. This is my first trip there, and I'm looking forward to seeing the big sights as well as noticing the little things.

I'm also looking forward to writing about my experiences. I won't be blogging while on vacation, but I'm bringing my journal and plan to write a bit while out and about. It's my hope to write a few blog entries about the trip, but not in a "we did this, then did this, and then went here" sort of way. Instead, I hope to capture specific moments, or look at certain things in detail. We'll see how it turns out.

Basically, I want to use my vacation time to bring a little more writing into my life. I remember being a kid, sitting at the Apple IIGS in my parents' basement and writing stories. There was a blatant rip-off of Agatha Christie's Death on the Nile (Murder on the Mississippi), a sweeping epic of two friends through life and death (Unforgettable), another blatant rip-off, this time of the Little House series (This New Land, complete with detailed passages of meals), and so on. I'm not saying I was any great writer; I just remember how excited I used to feel when I sat at the computer and started to write. I could say anything! I could create whatever I wanted! I've been remembering those nights lately (and if I remember right, a lot of them were summer nights. Setting sun, cozy isolation...), and the memories make me want to recapture that feeling. Just me in a darkening, quiet room. Alone with that universe we all have inside our heads.

Okay, for the record, I did not start this entry with the intention of mooning over my childhood writing habits. I only meant to tell you that I was leaving for two weeks and would return with stories from Germany. I like the diversion though, I like it. I'll go to bed and feel a little melancholy and a little inspired. Good combination.

Would You Like the Four Noble Truths With That?

With the expenses of graduate school looming, I've been trying to keep a tighter rein on the funds. Among other things, this means bringing my lunch to work every day. In turn, bringing my lunch means getting up that much earlier every day to put the meal together. I've got it down to a squeeze- in- every- possible- minute- of- extra- sleep science, but there are still days I fall short. Last Wednesday for example, when I woke up 8 minutes before I was supposed to
leave for work. Or today, when I realized we had nothing in the fridge. I could kick myself for being so irresponsible. Alternatively, I could look at today as my big chance for Zen Burger. Option 2 sounds so much more appealing, doesn't it?

Zen Burger it is.

Zen Burger is a new chain - and it's currently a pretty small chain, since from what I can tell it's only in New York and Los Angeles - that does vegetarian fast food. We're talking burgers and fries fast food too, not edamame chickpea salad fast food. A vegetarian co-worker has been raving about it for weeks now, enough for me to overcome my reservations about fake meat. And anyhow, have chicken mcnuggets ever had the texture of traditional chicken? Don't McDonalds hamburgers already contain a lot of soy?

Long story short, my ZBBQ chicken sandwich and fries were fantastic. I'm not going to pretend the meal was especially healthy, since the fries left a little grease window in their paper sack. I also have to raise my eyebrows at Zen Burger's "better for the environment" spiel, since I had to throw away half of my meal's packaging. I didn't go to Zen Burger to save the planet however, so no harm, no foul.

Seriously though: how did they get soy to taste so much like chicken?

A Couple Notes on Candy Fast

I continue to be amazed at how easy this is. I sat next to a box of canolis for 7 hours one day and barely blinked an eye. In addition, some of my mom's baked goods passed under my nose to Oliver's hands a couple weeks ago, and it didn't phase me a bit. Ah, the control. The power. Bwahahahahahahaha!

I've noticed a couple strange things, though. First, I think my taste buds have developed a greater sensitivity to the presence of sugar in my diet. The bread I make my lunchtime sandwiches with for example, suddenly tastes really sweet. Bread. Really. On top of that, I had a yogurt parfait thing yesterday that tasted like someone had mixed an enormous brick of marzipan into the yogurt and oatmeal. The sweetness was overpowering. There's no way yogurt can taste that sweet. Is there? Maybe there's a chemical reaction going on here, taste buds overcompensating. Either that or I bought a marzipan parfait. Either way... interesting.

Even more fun, three times now I have dreamed that I accidentally broke the fast. It was an enormous, gooey chocolate chip cookie in one dream, a piece of birthday cake in another. Crazy. I mean, how can you accidentally eat something you're focused on avoiding? I was horrified in each dream. Upon waking, I was also a little embarrassed. My subconscious seems to be pretty worried about what I eat.