The best thing right now

 
The best thing right now, the absolute best, is the view out our living room windows.

We live on the 5th floor of our building. That's high enough to look out directly onto the treetops. It's all green, and when the sun is setting a golden light tends to shoot in between the leaves. We leave our curtains open from spring to the end of autumn - ain't no one seeing through to our apartment. The leaves are too thick. Sometimes I pretend that we live in a treehouse, that if I wanted to I could just walk out onto one of those branches.

The leaves are beginning to change color now, and the maple seeds are drying out and browning. Any day now I imagine I'll see a few twirling down to the ground.

Toward the end of Nils's nap today I had about 20 minutes to just lay on my couch and look out the window. All my naptime tasks accomplished, NPR playing softly on the radio, a pillow beneath my head. Moments like these are rare enough that the sheer peace of it might have been enough, even without those lovely maples to admire.

Of those 20 minutes to myself, 10 ended up a catnap. This has been happening to me a lot lately. If I sit down in the afternoon, bam! Out like a light. This pregnancy has been just about as effortless I any I could imagine, but it has exhausted me nonetheless. Many times I have put Nils down for his siesta, then proceeded to take a nap myself. It has been wonderful to be able to get that rest (since my body is screaming for it), but those naps... sigh. They've been keeping me from doing everything else. All the cleaning, cooking, and logistical tasks I could be doing while Nils gives me a break. Instead, those things pile up around me until I lose it and start yelling at Oliver.

I know what this is. It's preparation for the arrival of Little Steffwomann. Once she's here, there will be no chance to catch up each day. I'm going to have to find a new way of doing things. Maybe I'll have to let some things go. I just hope that every once in awhile I'll find a few minutes in the afternoon to look out the window. You know, before I fall asleep.