Stressin'

I think I generally keep things pretty light here, on my little blog. Part of that is because I have a pretty "light" life (take that to mean what you will), but also because I don't really like focusing on the bad things here - or anywhere, really.

Lest anyone think my life is a series of bike rides, city jaunts, camping trips and amusing conversations with my husband, below is a short list of things that are weighing on me right now. I feel like venting.

1. My incredibly uncertain future. I graduate in 9 months - is there a job out there for me? Everywhere I turn right now, all I hear is "cutbacks", "hiring freeze", "it's going to get worse before it gets better." Wait, when you say it's going to get better, do you mean by December? That would be great, thanks.

2. My still somewhat uncertain summer. I've spent the last couple months at an increasing level of panic re: summer internship. Good, solid experiences in the field. Rutgers offers little or no (emphasis on no) help finding them, so I've been sort of flailing around, trying to figure things out on my own. I think I've got it all settled now... but what if it falls through? Additionally, am I doing the right thing? Is there something else out there that would be an even better fit?

3. Oliver's uncertain future. He works for a bank that keeps posting good numbers... a little too good, actually. Can't be real. Any day now, we're going to see his CEO on cnn, being led away from the office in handcuffs. And then Oliver will come home at 3 in the afternoon, box of personal items in hand.(**Sidenote: Oliver works in IT. He is not a banker - not a bad guy.**)

4. Housing. Our convenient, affordable apartment will soon be no longer ours. Our landlord emailed us yesterday, informing us that he is putting the apartment up for sale - uncertain economy... he's not sure how long he'll be able to hold on to his job... needs to unload this mortgage... he's so sorry to do this to us... we've been good tenants... we can stay beyond May 1 if we want... can stay until he sells the place...

Crap. We JUST moved. And there is absolutely.no.way. I am moving in the middle of my final exams. It's just not going to happen. And I've just gotten used to things in this neighborhood. What if we can't find something else in the area? I don't like being told I need to leave. I like coming to those conclusions on my own. Whine whine whine.