Space

I've lived in three different apartments in the last three years, and each has been smaller than the last. (More expensive too, cruelly enough.) I like small. As I've said before, it keeps me from buying unnecessary things. It makes me feel like I'm living more deliberately, being more responsible with resources, etc. etc. It's good.

Okay, but sometimes it's a little less than good. Like when I try to wash my face in my tiny bathroom sink and as the water goes from cupped hands to face it splashes all over the floor - the sink isn't big enough. Or when I have to stand on tiptoe and move the mixing bowls to open the cupboard that holds the tupperware containers - there's nowhere else to put them. Or how each morning, as I open the drawers of the ad hoc bureau I keep in my closet, they ram into Oliver's chest of drawers - the chest of drawers that rams right up against the bed - the bed with the head that rams right up against the radiator. Nowhere else to put any of these things. I could go on and on - we don't have any drawers in the kitchen. Our 4-foot high, rotating fan is currently broken up in bits and stored in different corners because we don't have enough space to store it in one piece. A fan! We have to sort, fold and hang-dry our laundry in the living room, so every couple weeks there are sweaters, socks and t-shirts everywhere for a day or two. Never a dull moment!

We have two closets. Each is about 4 feet across. That is the sum total of our storage space. Did I really grow up in a house with a basement? With a garage? Did I used to have apartments with storage units in the basement? Amazing. Did I really used to live in an apartment that had a whole room just for dining? And a giant front porch?

Will I ever have those things again?

Eh, do I want them?

We've been talking about buying a house at some point in the next couple years, which is both exciting and scary. Buying seems so final. A tiny apartment is an adventure, but what happens if "small" becomes permanent? What happens if you officially realize that you will not in fact be moving on to a more affordable area, that you will not in fact have a backyard. Or a second bathroom. Or a real kitchen. Or a coat closet. Your son and daughter will need to share a bedroom and your parents will be forced to sleep on your couches when they come to visit because there is no guest room. Does an amazing neighborhood make up for that?

All in good fun, right?